Sunday, January 23, 2011

WE'RE MOVING!

Sundays with Cindy is moving! We've been having technical problems here on Blogspot for more than a month now, so I decided to look around for a new blog site. Starting right now you will be able to find us at www.sundayswithcindy.wordpress.com . I'm so happy we were able to take all our archived blog posts with us as well! I still have a little work to do to get it set up the way I want it, but beginning today, Jamuary 23, 2011, you'll find our weekly devotion over there. Can't wait to welcome you there!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

BORN AGAIN - AGAIN

JANUARY 16, 2011
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Oh, what a week it has been! Nice things happened, bad things happened, miracles happened—and through it all we are praising the Lord. I am so glad we walk with the Lord and can literally see His hand at work in our lives!
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Let’s start with the nice things: Our son-in-law Fernando is here with us for a couple days this week. Fernando is a missionary in his native land of Ecuador. He has some meetings to attend in Cleveland, OH and decided to fly into Chicago and spend a little time with us and then drive on to Cleveland tomorrow. Of course, not having Laurie and the kids here with him makes us sad, but we are enjoying these few hours with Fernando. He loves the Lord, and he loves to laugh, and he loves our daughter and grandchildren, and that makes the fellowship very sweet indeed! We are so looking forward to the time later this year when, the Lord willing, the whole family will be back for a short furlough.
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Nice thing #2: Julie broke some good news to me this week, as well. She and David have decided to bring the family up here from Alabama at the end of the month to celebrate Robbie’s birthday with him (a few days early.) It is also Benjamin’s 13th birthday so we will celebrate both birthdays together. How fun! We were just there at Christmas but we can never have too much time together! I’m so excited!
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Nice thing #3: Robbie will be going into the hospital sometime in the next month or so for some oral surgery. Because he is so severely handicapped, any dental work that is done on him has to be done in a hospital under general anesthesia. One of his seizure medicines causes his gums to overgrow his teeth and periodically he has to have the tissue cut back. At the same time they will do fillings or whatever else might be needed.
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Bob took Robbie to see the dentist the other day in preparation for this work. While they were there, he was dismayed to find out that neither the dentist or oral surgeon takes Medicaid any more, and that is Robbie’s insurance. What a nice surprise it was to find out that both of these kind men had decided they wanted to do the work on Robbie for free! In fact, the dentist still had the thank you note and pictures of Robbie we had sent him the last time on his bulletin board. We are very grateful for them both.
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Now the bad things: Something else that came out of the visit to the dentist was his recommendation to us that we allow him to pull all of Robbie’s teeth! He said, for the sake of Robbie’s health that this would be the best thing we could do. Robbie is tube-fed and no longer eats anything by mouth so he does not need his teeth. He has ground them terribly over the years and the dentist said he is susceptible to infection, which in Robbie’s case could be fatal. In his words, “You need to think of Robbie’s well-being above your own.”
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Well, that is all we have done all these years, but I understand what he meant. It is a gut-wrenching decision for me and I am really struggling with it. Of course, I don’t want to put Robbie at risk. We have lived with the reality of Robbie’s fragility for the last ten years, fighting to keep him alive at times; knowing that at any time the Lord could take him through seizures or asphyxiation or pneumonia. We know he has already lived out his life expectancy. We would give our lives for that boy.
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At the same time I think of his handsome little face and his sweet smile, and it tears me up to think of disfiguring it this way. Robbie has enough strikes against him as far as people accepting him the way he is without adding something else to possibly make others turn away. Maybe infection could happen—but maybe it won’t, either. If we were to do this, there is no un-doing it later. He can’t wear dentures, so his smile, which is such a precious part of him, will be ruined for the rest of his life.
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It may seem strange to some people to think that in my mind Robbie’s smile would be as important to me as preventing him from possible risk of infection. I can’t help it. At this moment that is how I am feeling. Please pray for me that the Lord will open my mind to whatever is the right thing to do and that if it is following the doctor’s recommendation, I will be able to accept it with peace and comfort. Bob is leaning that way, but as I said, I am really struggling. We will have to make the decision soon and are praying about it now.
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Bad thing #2: I got a call the other day from my mother, “Craig [my 54 year old brother] is having open-heart surgery in two hours!” What??? He had gone in for a test that morning, ended up with an angiogram and then was told by his doctor that they had to do surgery immediately. He had one blockage, but it was a bad one and in a very dangerous place. In fact this particular blockage is called the widow-maker. It is the kind that kills you suddenly with no signs or symptoms to forewarn. He had been feeling just fine and had no idea that there was a problem at all.
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That they caught this just in time is nothing short of miraculous. The doctor told Craig yesterday that he had, at the most, six months to live—maybe as little as six weeks. We are praising God for His intervention and for His healing! It was amazing to me to see how well Craig is recovering in just the first couple days. He’s far, far beyond where I was after a week! He was enjoying all the company yesterday and seemed his normal self.
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I am sure he is feeling a rush after realizing how close it had been and how the Lord had spared him. Craig told Bob and Fernando yesterday when they went to visit him, “I feel like I’ve been born again—not in the spiritual sense this time, but physically.” We don’t always get a second chance at life. How thankful we all are that we still have him with us! I know Craig is ready for Heaven whenever the Lord will take him, but still I know that he is glad to be around a little longer to be a grandpa to Isaac and the new grandbaby on its way.
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Our lives are filled with the blessings and challenges; the day-to-day routine and the unexpected. We say it so often—“Who knows what a day will bring forth?” Whatever it is, God is there. We see God performing miracles in our lives. We feel His peace and comfort and presence when we are burdened with care. When we trust Him we know He will lead and provide. That is what it is like to be His child.
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The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:6 to thank God for everything—good and bad. “Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” It is easy to give thanks for the good things the Lord brings into our lives. It is more difficult sometimes when we are faced with hard trials to find something in them for which to praise Him—but there is always something. In this problem about Robbie’s teeth I can praise Him that we have had ten years longer already with Robbie than we had thought we would; that his smile—however it may appear—reflects the happiness, love and contentment that he is feeling inside, whether he can say it or not; and that no matter how Robbie is physically or mentally, God has blessed our lives with the gift of this precious child.
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Everyday we can thank Him for the good and the bad, but when we stand amazed in the face of the miraculous, we are humbly grateful for His watchcare, His intervention, His power and love—and yes, sometimes even the second chances He allows us.
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“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (I Thessalonians 5:18)

A BLANK CANVAS UNFOLDS

JANUARY 9, 2011
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Happy New Year! We are off to a good start—better anyway than last year. I looked over Sundays with Cindy 2010 as I printed several copies of it to give as Christmas gifts. There were forty-six entries, 146 pages. The first entry in 2010 was called “A Fizzle and a Thud.” I was sick at the time I wrote it—too sick to write my usual devotion for the week. Well, Sundays with Cindy 2010 ended with a fizzle and a thud, as well! There were no entries for the last three weeks. I wrote a devotion for the first of those weeks but the website was having a problem and I could not post it. The following two Sundays we were traveling to and from Alabama. *Sigh.* I am sorry that it ended that way.
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But this is a new year and a new start! I am looking forward to what the Lord will do in our lives in 2010! The big question for me is, “I wonder if this is the year that Jesus comes back for His own?” I am so ready for that to happen! So ready for Heaven—but in the meantime life must go on here on earth.
The year unfolds as a blank canvas. We don’t get to know what will be revealed ahead of time. I am glad for that. I don’t want to know ahead of time the challenges and trials we may have to face. God gives strength for those things at the time we need it. If I knew too much too soon I would waste precious time and energy worrying about it. Better to walk by faith, trusting God for the path ahead and to lead me step by step through the hard times.
But isn’t it nice that He gives us glimpses ahead of time of some of the good things we have to anticipate? In our family we have the birth of a new baby to look forward to in a few weeks! Laurie will be delivering her baby girl sometime in February and we are all so excited about that! Julie and David are a few steps closer in their adoption than they were at this time a year ago. Will this be the year they finally get the children they have waited to welcome into their family for so long? Sometime this year we are expecting the Naranjos to return from Ecuador for a few months. Oh, happy day for this grandma! Having joys like these to look forward to makes the journey today easier.
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There will be changes in our family and in our home and I am anticipating the things I will have to do here to make way for those changes—or should I say make room? The Naranjo family—all eight of them—will probably be staying with us, at least for a while. We have the bedroom space, but not a lot of closet and drawer space. I am already thinking about the wardrobe cabinets and plastic dressers for the kids I can bring in and where I will put them.
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There will be changes in lifestyle as well. Gone will be the days of a quiet house where Robbie sleeps and I sit with my computer on my lap and write eight or ten hours a day. There will be life and noise and activity and fun! Grandma will help with home-schooling, play games with the kids, and rock the new baby. Robbie, hopefully, will wake up and enjoy the hustle and bustle and the sound of little kids’ voices and laughter. Gone will be the quiet suppers for two in front of the TV. Our table will be filled to overflowing and Grandma will have to start cooking for real again! Gone will be the privacy and peace of an older couple, but taking its place will be the love and joy of having family here again under our roof! And what will make it complete will be when the Sanchez family joins us for a visit and we squeeze in even closer! Can you see I am excited about those changes?
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There are other changes I am anticipating, as well—changes that may not be quite as exciting, but certainly challenging. These are the changes I have been praying about, and actually working on for the last few months—changes in me. It is natural when we stand on the threshold between the old year and the new, to take stock of our lives. Many people make resolutions (or at least they have in the past) to do better in the new year—to lose weight, or quit smoking or drinking, or control their temper, or spend more time with their families—whatever. I quit making resolutions a long time ago. They never lasted more than a few weeks and then I was right back to my old ways.
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Resolutions don’t work for me and I know why—they are dependent on my willpower and my strength. Unfortunately my willpower and strength aren’t what they used to be. I can’t do it on my own. And so I turn to the Source of power and strength—the Lord. I can’t change me, but He can.
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I have been praying that the Lord will change me (my mindset, my will, my obedience to Him, my priorities) in two basic areas—how I relate to others and how I relate to myself. I began to see a need in my life to put people first again. I have spent the last ten years alone much of the time as I stayed home and cared for Robbie. He was my first priority as his needs were so great. Gradually, though, I began to fill my life with projects to fill the empty hours and days as I sat by his bedside. Though they were good and often a ministry, I finally saw that they were hindering my relationships with other people—eating my time, keeping me isolated, becoming more important in my life than the people I loved the most.
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I asked the Lord to change me in this area—to help me see what I could completely cut out, and what I could cut down on, and to give me the strength to actually do it. I asked Him to give me the determination to step out as I could and do for others. I have always looked at writing as my ministry for the Lord and to others, but I began to realize all over again that our love and service ought to go beyond words and become action. I have always respected pastors who are not just scholars and orators hiding behind a desk and a pulpit, but who are real people-persons, out there showing their love in real ways for their flock. I am limited still in how often I can get out of the house, but not as much as before. I need to get out of my comfortable rut and out there meeting face-to-face the needs of family, friends and others to whom I can minister.
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I am asking the Lord also to change my attitudes about caring for myself. It is far easier for me to see and desire to care for the needs of others than it is to take care of my own needs. As I get older, though, I realize that if I want to continue to care for Robbie, Bob, my grandchildren and other loved ones, then I need to take better care of myself. For some reason my physical needs have always had a low priority in my mind. I don’t know if it is because I think of my spiritual well-being as having far more importance, or if it is because I have no fear of death, or if I am just so lazy that it is not a priority. To God it is important however, and if I am to be obedient to Him I ought to take it more seriously. This old body, He says, is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and as such ought to have the care and respect that the tabernacle in the Old Testament or Solomon’s temple received. “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.” (I Corinthians 6:19, 20) No, I am not making resolutions to lose weight or manage my diabetes better, but I am asking God to change my mindset on this and to help me realize that this is not something I can slough off if I want to be obedient to Him—and I do want to be obedient to Him.
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I cannot change myself. I am weak, but I know that just as Christ changed me into a new creation through the power of His blood, He will continue to work in me and change me if I allow Him to do so. I leave you with some Scripture that reminds us of the good work He has done in us already, and His promises to finish that work:
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“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (II Corinthians 5:17)
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“And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” (Ephesians 4:24)
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“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)
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“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)
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Just as the New Year unfolds before us as a blank canvas, so do the rest of our lives—ready to be created into the masterpieces only Christ can make of them when we allow Him to work in us.